I'm so hopeful, which I haven't been in months.
I'm truly so blessed to have such incredible people in my life.
My best friend Toni mailed me a journal in October.
She wrote me a beautiful letter inspiring Justin and I to stay encouraged for Baby Sieb.
This is the cover of the journal:
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| I'm so lucky to have such an amazing and uplifting best friend. |
And inside she wrote this:
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| You are wondering if I cried? The answer is always yes. |
Obviously, her gift made my heart explode with happiness.
I've only had the chance to write two entries, so I thought I would share them with you all.
October 30, 2012
I've decided that you are going to be stubborn like your father.
And you will do things on your own timeline like your mother.
I've been praying for you a lot lately. You'll learn that when I want something, I commit 100% to getting "it" - whatever "it" may be.
In this case, I want you.
I want to be a mother.
Your mother.
I want to see your smile.
Hear your laugh.
Make you happy you're sad.
Help you.
Believe in you.
Hold you.
Watch you grow.
Run with you.
See you play with Bandit, your big brother.
Inspire you.
Kiss you goodnight.
Teach you.
And love you unconditionally.
Your Aunt Toni got me this journal as a gift. She is my best friend and soulmate, you'll love her.
After all, all you need is love!
See you soon (I hope!).
Love,
Mom
December 17, 2012
It's been two months (almost) since I've shared my thoughts with you. I guess I thought that by not writing about my fears, worries, and dreams- you would come sooner.
Don't stress, they say.
Your time will come, they promise.
Keep positive, they encourage.
But, easier said than done.
On Friday, our nation (and the world) mourned as a monster killed 20 children in an elementary aged children and six adults.
You aren't even born yet, but I thought of you...
I could never imagine having to bury my 6-year-old child because you were murdered at school. With this unthinkable tragedy in mind, I want you to know that...
I promise to always kiss you goodnight.
I promise to hold your hand when you're scared.
I promise to teach you how to love and show compassion to everyone you meet.
I promise to believe in you.
I promise to tell you that "I love you" at least twice a day.
I promise to make you smile.
I promise to guide you in the right direction.
I promise to inspire you to always make the right decision.
I promise to teach you manners that last a lifetime.
I promise to help you achieve your biggest and wildest dreams.
And most importantly, I promise to be the best mother ever.
And here is the last page:
And even if Baby Sieb isn't our "gift" this Christmas, we are determined to enjoy every minute, hug, kiss, laugh, gift, and even tear we share with our family and friends.
We hope you and your family do the same...
All you need this holiday is love.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Much love,
Ashley
