Finding Nemo

Last night I was outside with Justin while he was grilling steaks for our Christmas Eve dinner.

It was cold, so we were hugging and he had his arms and coat wrapped around me.

"A baby would be a perfect Christmas gift," Justin said and then kissed me on the forehead.

I've been waiting all week to take a test on Christmas morning.

"The best gift," I added.

"Go take a test now," Justin said.

"No," I said. "Not until Christmas morning! Be patient."

....
I woke up this morning and tried to be quiet as I walked to the bathroom. If it was finally our time, I wanted to surprise Justin like I've alway planned!

Instead, I stubbed my toe on the bed and then stepped on a brush with my other foot.

Justin woke up (obviously).

And then I couldn't find the bag with the pregnancy test.

Calm down, Ashley.

I went to the bathroom, and prepared myself...

If the test is negative, you can drink on vacation...which you'll definitely need to do!

And if the test is positive, well- keep your shit together and try not to scream out a burst of happiness!

As I waited for the results to come in, I closed my eyes and thought about the laughs and tears I shared with our family last night talking about baby Sieb.

And I even got an idea for what to call baby Sieb throughout our pregnancy! My friend Mel called her baby "bean" and I loved the nickname! I have another twitter friend who is pregnant and calls her little one "pickle."

So, Grandma Sieb told us that she called all of her children "Nemo" until they were born.

Nemo. I love it!

Back in the bathroom, the test was negative. But you guys, I didn't cry this time.

Instead, I just climbed back into bed with Justin, hoping he never heard me get up.

"I assume it was negative," Justin whispered.

"Yeah, it was negative," I confirmed.

...

"Babe, even though we aren't pregnant, we can't give up!" Justin said once we got out of bed.

"I know," I said. "I'm fine. I'm not stressing out or anything. I promise!"

For once, I wasn't lying. I'm hopeful one day soon, we will find our Nemo.

Merry Christmas to your family from ours! Xoxo!

Much love,
Ashley